I tried to dress myself from head to toe in free Dreamforce swag

For all the Salesforce messaging about environmental stewardship—which led to their decision not to give away free swag, including the popular Dreamforce backpack—there was still a veritable glut of company merchandise at Dreamforce, the tech conference that dominated downtown San Francisco this week.

On Wednesday, Wednesday, the second day of the massive conference-cut-music-company summer camp, I was weary of overload, motivation, and waiting. So I set out on a little game: Can I dress myself, head-to-toe, free Dreamforce swag?

A piece of obvious wisdom: Corporate conferences and networking events are great sources of delight that you’ll wear once and then leave in the unholy recesses of your closet. To make up for the high price and brain drain of having to shake hands and communicate with dozens of strangers daily, you get the promise of free treatment. It’s Pavlovian style of interaction: shake hands, get a prize.

Nowhere is this more evident than in the Dreamforce, where the entire ground floor of the Moscone Center (or in Salesforce speaking, the camp) just exudes complimentary services.

Among the prizes at your disposal, in addition to the usual bags and bottles of water: cartoons, milk brothers and countless photo shoots. I got a bottle of face wash just for standing in the audience of a L’Oreal sponsored game show. There are also many lotteries. Among the ones I saw on Wednesday were: AirPods, AirPod Maxes, Nike Jordans, a guitar signed by Red Hot Chili Peppers, drones, a Segway, and a Theragun masseur. (A few cars were shown, but it wasn’t clear if they were ready for capture.)

So I figured it shouldn’t be too difficult to get my company logos to work from head to toe.

Some ground rules for this little experiment: No duplicates (I don’t need 10 T-shirts from different startups) and no bags (like a blue piece of trash, I already have a lot).

Things went very well. in the beginning. Upon entering the camp, a TikTok booth was handing out free baseball caps. I shook my hand and got my blue hat. Then, after that, I met a nice guy from a company called Cofio – he complimented my pants, joked and gave me a couple of striped socks. So far, so good.

I have a little greed. Some people in the booth were wearing hoodies. I wanted a hoodie, so I went. Nice guy, telling me about a company called LeanData, he blew my bubbles, and told me that the hoods are for customers exclusively. (He assured me he also couldn’t hold anyone down, even as an employee.) Condolence Award: Green T-shirt.

That was within 20 minutes. Then the challenges began to emerge. In a sea of ​​free T-shirts, bags, and mugs of coffee, there were no pants. No company will spend thousands of dollars for any bottoms, be it nylon shorts or sweatpants. Even Salesforce, in their DreamForce-branded Dreamstore, didn’t sell any pants or shorts.

Even Dreamstore, which sells Salesforce and Plush clothing, didn’t have any pants.

Joshua Butt/Svgat

As for shoes, at least two companies have been offering plump sneakers in tow. I subscribed to one of them, courtesy of Five9. (As of writing, I haven’t won.)

Besides the challenge of getting my lower half dressed, there was another, more moral obstacle: I was tired of calling under the guise of getting merchandise. How people can smile and socialize for three days in a row, when I can barely swing for an hour, is a far cry from me. I felt bad for all of the salespeople putting out their offers to someone who was only interested in the transaction they were giving. It must be hard to always be connected, rubbing your hands idle with a handshake. There’s also the greater malaise of an event like this: No amount of gifts can fill the existential gap of sitting in sessions on how to improve your use of the company’s software.

A TikTok hat, LeanData shirt, and Coveo socks were all I could muster.

A TikTok hat, LeanData shirt, and Coveo socks were all I could muster.

Joshua Butt/Svgat

Gone are the days of my hilarious hustler, for now. But if anyone had pants to give me, I would shake hands (incredibly reluctantly) and hear your company offer.

#dress #toe #free #Dreamforce #swag

Leave a Comment

Your email address will not be published.